Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Did you miss me? No?

I am writing again. Another novel's coming soon. I fully intend to bang out 3k words per day until the first draft is done. Somewhat different than my other stuff--less graphic, less crazy, a little more conventional. Working title is The Place, but this will change.

I might be going to Israel in a couple of weeks. Maybe I'll finish the last chapter in the Holy Land.

By the way, Knife Lake and The Dead Boys are both free. Download!

So, how are you?

Enough With the Pig and Alien Already

An anonymous reviewer had this to say about Knife Lake on bn.com:

"Who in their right mind would buy this terrible crock of @#$% obviously i was one of the unlucky ones that did a horrible attemp at horror in the vein of edward lee and jack ketchum who are two splatter authors who are actually GOOD at what they do if ur gonna copy someone copy the best i guess at least they coulda made the pig and alien work"

He's entitled to his opinion and atrocious grammar. However, my "attemp at horror" did NOT CONTAIN A PIG OR AN ALIEN! No pigs! No aliens! Why have two reviewers complained about the fucking nonexistent pig and alien?

Conversely, here's a good review:

"I found it hard to put down and wanted to finish this book. It is a little hard to read but once you get past the choppy language (if you can) it really does move along. There are a couple of places where the author confuses characters but again, if you don't get caught up in that you will enjoy the book. Yes, there is quite a bit of language and some instances of rather vivid descriptions of both the male and female anatomy but a good book if the horror/thriller genre is what you like."

Very fair. The language is choppy -- KL was my first book and not professionally edited. Lesson learned. I'm glad this reviewer had some constructive things to say.

Savaged!

The reviewer "Spirit" had this to say about Knife Lake at bn.com:


"I don't usually review books that I haven't completely finished but since I read all but the last 125 pages I'm making an exception. Try as I may, I just couldn't read any more. It started out fast and there were a few glimmers of horror and suspense but then it turned into a.bizzrre, trite and dull mess. Between the filthy language , the alien, the pig and silly writing it was just outside the realm of being readable. I would not recommend this book." 


I can take a bad review. I just don't remember writing about a pig or an alien. 

Cyber Monday: Obtain Fine Horror Novels With No Financial Obligation

Cyber Monday. What better time to announce that both Knife Lake and The Dead Boys are now available free? Get 'em at the links below.

Read, enjoy. If you particularly liked either, I would be honored if you'd write a short review at the iTunes bookstore, bn.com, or smashwords. If you hated them...well, contact me here and berate me personally.  

Barnes and Noble

iTunes Bookstore

Smashwords

Barnes and Noble

iTunes Bookstore

Smashwords

Coming Soon...

Semifinal draft of cover art for—you guessed it—Meat Men. The background is a Vesalius engraving, digitally altered by my mad amateur Corel Painter skillz.

MM will be about 30k words. It deals with sexual identity, body image, and the objectification of men as 'death objects.' The protagonist is a Star Wars nerd who accidentally becomes a bestselling horror novelist. The antagonist is a guy named Mr. Green, who lives in a cave and keeps surgically altered men around for what he believes are very good reasons. This is turning into one of the wilder things I've ever written, so buckle your seatbelts. 

By the way, both Knife Lake and The Dead Boys are still FREE on Smashwords. Just click the covers to the right to get 'em. You know you want to....

I Am Obsessed With This Windmill

It's tucked into the northwest corner of Golden Gate Park. Though I've lived in this stupid city for years, I had no idea what it was called. Google Maps cheerfully provided the name: The North Windmill. 

Last night, I saw flashlight beams playing off of it. First thought: aliens. Then I heard somebody laugh—could have been male or female—and a few more quiet laughs in response. The sound of breaking bottle. The flashlight beams whipped into a frenzy, then disappeared. 

I'm not on drugs. I'm tired, but not to the point of hallucination. WHAT WAS GOING ON AT THE NORTH WINDMILL?

Will investigate. 

My Secret Infidelity: Basement Power Spank Fetish with Mega-MILF

Enjoys hot wax, foot worship, tickle torture

Damn, Smashwords! How much erotica do you publish?

Every day there are at least five new titles, most of them written by women. I guess there are a lot of repressed librarians finding an outlet for their dormant yet smoldering sensuality.

Living in one of the most oversexed cities in the world, I find myself drawn away from erotica. It's just not that exciting to me anymore. In my books, as a few friends have pointed out, there's no sex. One of my woman (womyn--she insists) friends called Knife Lake 'icky and misogynist.' I think she's full of shit, but I'll leave readers to decide that for themselves.

My next book is a response to the thinly-veiled man-hatred that passes for contemporary feminism, at least as practiced by some of the cawing harpies that roost here. The title Meat Men seemed appropriate, although through the magic of Google I found out that it's also the name of a punk band—hope the boys don't mind sharing.

And, to my darling woman fellow-humans: I love all of you. And by all means, keep writing hot-wax-bitch-latex-slave-foot-fetish-genital-torture-ball-squeezing-whipped-cock-tit-squeeze erotica.

I look forward to snickering at your pseudonyms.