Saturday, July 23, 2011

Coming Soon...

Semifinal draft of cover art for—you guessed it—Meat Men. The background is a Vesalius engraving, digitally altered by my mad amateur Corel Painter skillz.

MM will be about 30k words. It deals with sexual identity, body image, and the objectification of men as 'death objects.' The protagonist is a Star Wars nerd who accidentally becomes a bestselling horror novelist. The antagonist is a guy named Mr. Green, who lives in a cave and keeps surgically altered men around for what he believes are very good reasons. This is turning into one of the wilder things I've ever written, so buckle your seatbelts. 

By the way, both Knife Lake and The Dead Boys are still FREE on Smashwords. Just click the covers to the right to get 'em. You know you want to....

Saturday, July 9, 2011

I Am Obsessed With This Windmill

It's tucked into the northwest corner of Golden Gate Park. Though I've lived in this stupid city for years, I had no idea what it was called. Google Maps cheerfully provided the name: The North Windmill. 

Last night, I saw flashlight beams playing off of it. First thought: aliens. Then I heard somebody laugh—could have been male or female—and a few more quiet laughs in response. The sound of breaking bottle. The flashlight beams whipped into a frenzy, then disappeared. 

I'm not on drugs. I'm tired, but not to the point of hallucination. WHAT WAS GOING ON AT THE NORTH WINDMILL?

Will investigate. 

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My Secret Infidelity: Basement Power Spank Fetish with Mega-MILF

Enjoys hot wax, foot worship, tickle torture

Damn, Smashwords! How much erotica do you publish?

Every day there are at least five new titles, most of them written by women. I guess there are a lot of repressed librarians finding an outlet for their dormant yet smoldering sensuality.

Living in one of the most oversexed cities in the world, I find myself drawn away from erotica. It's just not that exciting to me anymore. In my books, as a few friends have pointed out, there's no sex. One of my woman (womyn--she insists) friends called Knife Lake 'icky and misogynist.' I think she's full of shit, but I'll leave readers to decide that for themselves.

My next book is a response to the thinly-veiled man-hatred that passes for contemporary feminism, at least as practiced by some of the cawing harpies that roost here. The title Meat Men seemed appropriate, although through the magic of Google I found out that it's also the name of a punk band—hope the boys don't mind sharing.

And, to my darling woman fellow-humans: I love all of you. And by all means, keep writing hot-wax-bitch-latex-slave-foot-fetish-genital-torture-ball-squeezing-whipped-cock-tit-squeeze erotica.

I look forward to snickering at your pseudonyms.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

July is the Cruelest Month

For the month of July, both The Dead Boys and Knife Lake will be FREE at! Click on either cover to download. 

Here's the "flap copy" for both:


John Fairbrother: prophet, madman, magus. After years in limbo, he's returned with a mission:

Collect sacrifices. Human sacrifices.

Artemis Costa has an easy life. With no material wants, she can afford to drift through the days...until a violent encounter with John forces her to join his bloody crusade.

You see, John needs her help.

He can't create the Knife Lake alone...

Graphic, shocking, and surreal, Knife Lake is a full-throttle horror novel in the tradition of Jack Ketchum, Edward Lee, and Richard Laymon. 



Bill and Constance are young, spirited, broke...and just married. In lieu of an expensive honeymoon, they trek to a cabin in the Connecticut woods for a weekend of solitude and celebration. 


At the campsite, a bizarre man calling himself Septimus Smith appears from nowhere, full of strange proclamations and violent threats. Taking no chances, Bill and Constance run for their lives.


But Septimus won’t let them go. It seems the newlyweds have stumbled into the middle of a strange game, played by beings with abilities that seem...unnatural. 

Abilities like raising the dead. 

And, to the young couple’s horror...

...the dead are coming!

The Dead Boys is a surreal, disturbing addition to the zombie genre, filled with unforgettable images, vivid characters, and of course, more guts than you can shake a severed limb at.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

News About Another Novel Which Nobody is Going to Read

Love thy neighbor's savory flesh
I'm 5,000 words into my next novel, Meat Men. Should be done by the end of the summer. Deals with themes of gender roles, misandry, and the importance of Star Wars to a grown man's psyche.

And you can still get The Dead Boys for free on Just enter coupon code TF99M at checkout. Cheap horror reads: the cure for hellish recession blues. 

Speaking of recessions, if anyone wants to donate, say, ten-thousand dollars to an impecunious writer, please contact one Mr. Jonathan Curwen via this website. Mr. Curwen will write a novel with you as the hero, and promises you won't die at the end.